Tue 28 Apr 2009
Nobody Here But Us Chickens
Posted by Bria under Main Dishes



The first time I roasted a chicken, my dad talked me through it over the phone. The conversation went something like this:
Dad: Is the oven hot?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: Okay, put the bird in the roasting pan.
Me: Mmhmm, done.
Dad: Now spray it with Pam.
Me: The pan, or the bird?
Dad: The bird - just give it a good spray all over.
Me: Got it. Now what?
Dad: Peel an onion, and just shove the whole thing inside.
Me: Inside…where?
Dad: The bird.
Me: In its butt?
Dad: We generally call that the cavity, but yes. Pop it in.
Me: Are you serious?
Dad: Yes! It will taste good.
Me: Okay, one onion in the butt coming up.
Dad: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
Me: Go on.
Dad: Shake a little salt and pepper over the outside and stick it in the oven. Check it in an hour.
Me: That’s it?
Dad: That’s it.
And that really is it. You can get a delicious roast chicken with almost zero work. If you’ve never cooked a chicken before, and if you break out in hives of OH MY G-D THIS IS SO COMPLICATED when you read the rest of this recipe, go ahead and try the Butt Onion method. But if you are feeling at all adventurous (and by “at all” I mean on a “dimes in your penny loafers” level), try your hand at the brine and paste method I describe below. It’s really, really delicious. And the smells that will fill your kitchen will blow your mind.
This recipe is an absolute stunner if you are trying to impress someone with your cooking skills. It comes out looking like a million bucks, and your guests will be rendered speechless when they take a bite of the moistest, tastiest chicken they have ever had. The brining will assure you very moist meat (heh) - just don’t overcook it. I know the spectre of undercooked chicken and all its various evils can keep the best of us up at night, but a meat thermometer or instant-read thermometer is all the backup you need. I highly recommend an instant-read for its speed, accuracy, and overall niftiness. I came upon this one by way of Cooks Illustrated, and was impressed that it was both extremely functional and highly affordable. Though not absolutely critical, it’s one of those pieces of equipment that can really streamline your cooking process.
Perfect Roast Chicken
Adapted from Cooks Illustrated
Brine
One medium, whole fryer or roasting chicken
10 cloves of garlic, unpeeled
½ cup kosher salt
1 T whole peppercorns
2 T herbs de provence
Water
Vessel large enough to hold your chicken, submerged
Paste
6 cloves of garlic, peeled
½ cup olive oil
1 t sea salt
1 T herbs de provence
Et cetera
Additional olive oil for basting
Potatoes, if desired
The first step takes place a full hour before you get the bird in the oven, so plan accordingly. Depending on how much the thing weighs, this recipe typically takes me between 2 ½ and 3 hours to execute from start to finish.
Place the unpeeled garlic, salt, peppercorns, and herbs de provence in a gallon-sized freezer bag. Smoosh as much of the air out as you can and seal the bag. Using a rolling pin or something else solid, bash the contents of the bag until the garlic is in a state you would describe as “smashed” and the other stuff is starting to smell good.
Dump the contents of the bag in a large stockpot or giant bowl and add the chicken (make sure you check the cavity and take out any of the extra bits, if they are included). Add enough cold water to cover the bird and stir as best you can to start dissolving the salt. Cover and place in the refrigerator for 1 hour.
Towards the end of your brining hour, make the paste by combining the peeled, minced garlic, olive oil, salt, and herbs de provence in a small bowl. Preheat the oven to 450. If you are using a roasting pan with a rack, spray the rack with a little oil.
Remove the brining biddie from your fridge. Line a dinner plate with a few layers of paper towels and gently set the chicken on them, making sure to turn the body cavity side down to let the extra water drain before you do. Blot it with paper towels, and turn it breast-side up (the bones of the drumsticks will be pointing up at you).
This next part will sound tricky, but is actually really easy once you get your hands in there and start poking around. With clean hands, slide your fingers up under the skin that covers the breast and thighs. You will start at the opening by the cavity and just slip and slide your way under the top layer. Dig around in there, gently (that’s what she said – sorry, I couldn’t resist) and really open it up to make room for the paste. Grab a few fingerfuls of paste and shove it in there, smooshing around until you can see that it’s making its way far under the skin. Add another little handful to the cavity, and smear the rest on the outside of the bird. If you run out of paste, just use some olive oil.
In a perfect world, you would use twine to tie the legs together here, but I never have twine when I need it so I never do this step. Still tastes like chicken.
Place the bird breast-side down on the rack and roast 15 minutes. If you are going to add potatoes, use this time to get them ready – wash, peel, cut into relatively even chunks that are approximately 1” by 1”. Toss them in a bowl with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper.
After the first 15 minutes of roasting, pull the pan out of the oven and scatter the potatoes around the pan. Roast for another 15 minutes.
Pull the pan out again and decrease the oven temperature to 375. Using tongs, paper towels, calloused hands, whathaveyou, flip the bird over so that the breast is facing up and lightly brush with a little more olive oil. Return to the oven and roast until a) the skin is golden, b) the thickest part of the breast registers at least 160 degrees on an instant read thermometer, and c) the inner thigh registers 165-170 degrees. Yes, you can use a regular old meat thermometer, but a decent instant read is so much better and is surprisingly inexpensive.
This last part of the roasting will take anywhere from 30 to 50 more minutes, depending on the size of your chicken. Set your timer to 30 and start checking every 10 minutes thereafter. If the skin doesn’t look at all golden, it’s not done. It will be beautiful, fragrant, moist, tender, and delicious when it reaches the finish line. Another way to test doneness - wiggle the drumstick. If it moves easily, it’s done.
After it comes out of the oven, transfer the chicken to a plate and let it rest for 5 minutes or so. Carve to the best of your abilities and enjoy. I will confess that I am not the best carver in the world. This video is fantastically helpful, though I think the only way to really get good at this is to screw it up a time or two and learn from your mistakes. Even if it’s ugly, it will still taste like chicken. Once you have as much meat off the bones as you can manage, you can use the carcass to make delicious, cheap chicken stock, provided that you have an onion, a big pot, and an afternoon (stay tuned for a recipe).



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I always start with licensing: find the licence number and look it up, and if your country is on the allowed list. Next come deposits and withdrawals: card, e-wallets and bank transfer should all be there, and cashout times should be listed up front.
Bonuses are the tricky part. Wagering of 35x or 40x is normal, and live tables often do not count at all. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is worth a read here Lilibet Casino and it saved me some time.
On mobile I mostly use the browser version, and if there is an app I make sure it comes from the official page. Ask support one simple question first: slow or scripted answers usually mean trouble later.
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The welcome offer is where most people get caught. Wagering of 35x or 40x is normal, and the bonus usually expires in a week or two. A useful overview with bonus rules, app info and payment methods can be found here Superbet and it saved me some time.
On mobile I mostly use the browser version, and if there is an app I make sure it comes from the official page. Support matters too: if they answer in a couple of minutes that is a good sign.
Hope this helps someone. Only play with money you can afford to lose.
Long time lurker here, thought I would drop my short checklist for choosing a casino site. After trying maybe a dozen sites I stopped going by ads alone.
Licence comes first for me: find the licence number and look it up, because some sites quietly block certain regions. Then payments: crypto is a plus but not a must, and cashout times should be listed up front.
The welcome offer is where most people get caught. Wagering of 35x or 40x is normal, and live tables often do not count at all. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is worth a read here Gamba Casino so you know what you are signing up for.
Most of my sessions are on mobile, and if there is an app I make sure it comes from the official page. Support matters too: a real human reply beats a bot loop.
Hope this helps someone. Treat it as entertainment, not income.
Long time lurker here, so here is how I pick an online casino these days. After getting burned once or twice I stopped trusting the big banners.
Licence comes first for me: find the licence number and look it up, and if your country is on the allowed list. Next come deposits and withdrawals: crypto is a plus but not a must, and the withdrawal limits need to be written clearly.
Bonuses are the tricky part. Anything above 40x rollover is a red flag for me, and live tables often do not count at all. A useful overview with bonus rules, app info and payment methods is worth a read here read more so you know what you are signing up for.
Most of my sessions are on mobile, so I check how the lobby works on a small screen. Support matters too: a real human reply beats a bot loop.
That is about it. Treat it as entertainment, not income.
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I always start with licensing: see which authority is listed in the footer, because some sites quietly block certain regions. After that I look at banking: card, e-wallets and bank transfer should all be there, and the withdrawal limits need to be written clearly.
The welcome offer is where most people get caught. Anything above 40x rollover is a red flag for me, and live tables often do not count at all. A good recent review that covers all of this is worth a read here bonus at Revery Play so you know what you are signing up for.
I play almost only on my phone, and if there is an app I make sure it comes from the official page. Ask support one simple question first: a real human reply beats a bot loop.
That is about it. Only play with money you can afford to lose.
Mostly a reader, rarely post, thought I would drop what I look at before signing up anywhere. After trying maybe a dozen sites I stopped going by ads alone.
Licence comes first for me: check who regulates the site, and whether they actually accept players from your country. After that I look at banking: card, e-wallets and bank transfer should all be there, and there should be no weird fees on cashouts.
Never judge a site by the bonus alone. Read the wagering and the max bet rule, and some games count less towards it. A good recent review that covers all of this is worth a read here Legionbet and it saved me some time.
Most of my sessions are on mobile, so I check how the lobby works on a small screen. Support matters too: if they answer in a couple of minutes that is a good sign.
Anyway, that is my routine. Only play with money you can afford to lose.
Long time lurker here, thought I would drop my short checklist for choosing a casino site. After a few bad experiences I learned to read the small print first.
First thing is the licence: check who regulates the site, and if your country is on the allowed list. Then payments: card, e-wallets and bank transfer should all be there, and the withdrawal limits need to be written clearly.
The welcome offer is where most people get caught. Anything above 40x rollover is a red flag for me, and live tables often do not count at all. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is worth a read here bonus at Gamblezen so you know what you are signing up for.
I play almost only on my phone, so I check how the lobby works on a small screen. Test the live chat before depositing: a real human reply beats a bot loop.
Anyway, that is my routine. Set a budget and stick to it.
Long time lurker here, but I figured I would share my short checklist for choosing a casino site. After trying maybe a dozen sites I learned to read the small print first.
I always start with licensing: see which authority is listed in the footer, and whether they actually accept players from your country. Then payments: I want at least one fast e-wallet option, and cashout times should be listed up front.
Never judge a site by the bonus alone. Anything above 40x rollover is a red flag for me, and some games count less towards it. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is here Slott before you deposit anything.
Most of my sessions are on mobile, so I check how the lobby works on a small screen. Ask support one simple question first: a real human reply beats a bot loop.
Anyway, that is my routine. Set a budget and stick to it.
Mostly a reader, rarely post, thought I would drop how I pick an online casino these days. After getting burned once or twice I stopped trusting the big banners.
Licence comes first for me: check who regulates the site, and if your country is on the allowed list. Then payments: crypto is a plus but not a must, and the withdrawal limits need to be written clearly.
Never judge a site by the bonus alone. Wagering of 35x or 40x is normal, and live tables often do not count at all. A good recent review that covers all of this can be found here Gamblezen before you deposit anything.
On mobile I mostly use the browser version, and if there is an app I make sure it comes from the official page. Ask support one simple question first: slow or scripted answers usually mean trouble later.
Hope this helps someone. Only play with money you can afford to lose.
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Long time lurker here, but I figured I would share how I pick an online casino these days. After getting burned once or twice I stopped trusting the big banners.
First thing is the licence: find the licence number and look it up, because some sites quietly block certain regions. After that I look at banking: I want at least one fast e-wallet option, and cashout times should be listed up front.
Bonuses are the tricky part. Read the wagering and the max bet rule, and some games count less towards it. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is worth a read here winzter casino review before you deposit anything.
On mobile I mostly use the browser version, and a good site loads fast and does not log you out every five minutes. Support matters too: slow or scripted answers usually mean trouble later.
Hope this helps someone. Set a budget and stick to it.
Been reading this board for a while, but I figured I would share how I pick an online casino these days. After getting burned once or twice I stopped going by ads alone.
Licence comes first for me: see which authority is listed in the footer, and if your country is on the allowed list. After that I look at banking: I want at least one fast e-wallet option, and there should be no weird fees on cashouts.
Bonuses are the tricky part. Wagering of 35x or 40x is normal, and live tables often do not count at all. A decent independent write-up with the current terms is worth a read here Trino Casino app and it saved me some time.
Most of my sessions are on mobile, so I check how the lobby works on a small screen. Ask support one simple question first: slow or scripted answers usually mean trouble later.
Hope this helps someone. Only play with money you can afford to lose.