Sun 12 Apr 2009
A Love Affair
Posted by Bria under Advice, Pantry and Equipment
I have to tell you about a love affair I have with a spatula. It would be criminal of me to share my recipes and cooking insights with you without sharing the good news about the Norpro Silicone Spatula. Sinful, in fact – a sin of omission.
My mom gave me a set of these when I was moving into my first apartment and setting up my first kitchen. The spatula and the spoonula are an invaluable pair, and every time you see me refer to a silicone spatula, I’m talking about one of them. Perfectly shaped and sized, they are durable, flexible, gentle on non-stick surfaces, and tough enough to handle tough deglazing. In short, they are perfect. And you should go order one.
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Hello, I am Ahmadu, the number one citizen of Abuja.
I want to confess to you all, since the secret is already out.
Of course I took the funds earmarked for our healthcare and educational infrastructure.
Instead of buying bricks and cement, I lost all the billions spinning reels on dodgy betting websites.
Now, let me tell you about my biggest headache right now:
my wife is furious with me. She has turned the mansion upside down because she wanted us
to fly to Dubai for a massive shopping spree. Can you believe it?
She planned to buy half of Dubai Mall, and my virtual casino balance
was showing zero. She does not care about the hospitals or schools at
all, she is only crying over missed shopping
sprees. My side chick is another story, demanding
expensive gifts that I can no longer afford.
Let’s be honest about the real disaster here: online gambling in Nigeria has
gone completely out of control. Across our streets and on every mobile phone, young people and foolish leaders like
me are losing their minds and savings to internet
casinos. They should be blamed for everything. They took the money meant for schools
and hospitals, leaving our sick citizens to
die in poorly equipped clinics, while fools like me spin virtual wheels.
Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant whose mind is entirely
focused on keeping my wife happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
I cannot understand why people are complaining about how I manage our funds.
After all, I am just a man of refined tastes who enjoys a little harmless digital
entertainment on my phone. The real culprits here are those deceptive online casino platforms in Nigeria that
clearly cheated me out of my rightful winnings. If those online casinos weren’t
so rigged, my lucky spin would have hit, funding
all our infrastructure while keeping my family fully satisfied.
Do not blame hardworking politicians like myself, but rather
hold those greedy online casinos accountable for ruining a perfectly brilliant budget strategy.
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